Forever

To my son Philip Gage Weiler 1996-2019 … This is what is written on the fifth page of Enough Grace to Make Things Right. Today’s thoughts come from a mother’s heart as I think about my youngest son.

My bad day started yesterday. I was just sitting, thinking about what I would share in this post. I thought back to that Fourth of July two years ago… it was late afternoon and the phone rang. As soon as the detective identified himself I knew that my son had died. He gave me the details. Phil was gone. I don’t know if the detective knew that Naloxone had brought him back nine days earlier. I didn’t know that until I got the Coroner’s Report two months later. So yesterday, as I thought about these things, a wave of grief hit me like a truck. I know that many reading this will know what I mean. Grief is like that. It it kind of simmers below the surface and we really are getting along okay. Then it hits and it hurts.

For the past too many Sundays we have been having church online. Next week we can be back in the building!!!! We are all very excited about that at our house. But I do want to tell you about today’s service. To say that I am sad today, is an understatement. But good news can settle right in there beside the sadness. The service started with a couple songs. The second one was “Father in Heaven The Lord’s Prayer.” I’m sure many of you know the words to what we call the Lord’s Prayer. Well the last line of the song really put things in perspective for me. And of course in a video, they repeat things quite a bit. I heard a few times over that – His is the Kingdom- His is the Power and His is the Glory – Forever. That word FOREVER… We are really talking eternity here. In the 23rd Psalm, if Jesus is our shepherd, there’s a promise. It’s after the part that mentions the valley and shadow of death. WE WILL dwell in the house of the Lord forever. If you want to listen to that song here’s the URL to find it.

Back to church. Pastor Dave is always popping videos into his sermons and all of a sudden here’s this young man on the screen. He really reminded me of Phil. Then his name came on the screen. Guess what his name was? Phil … with one L just like my Phil. He was working away, painting his skateboard as he talked. His sister had died in a tragic accident and he reacted. He thought he had found peace in drugs, (I think his words were “in anything I could put up my nose,”) but he very quickly found out he hadn’t. I don’t have a link to that video clip but I will put the church’s website link at the bottom of this page. You want to find it in today’s (July 4th’s) service.

The last thing that brought me peace in the church service today was pastor’s words from Psalm 63. Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. ²  From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. ³ For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe. (NIV)

All I can say is: Oh Lord! Do I ever need that “rock that is higher than I” today. Well, really Jesus, I need you every day.

http://wheatleybaptist.church/july-4